Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Upon mind preparation for the journey into this adventure, I began to think of my life to date as a trip to many destinations. Some of my own choosing, some that were chosen for me and of course the unscheduled itineraries that I was not prepared for. A continuous flight to many unknown areas of my jumbled mind that I paid the price for. At moments the fare was cheap and other times it was expensive but most times it was like an award ticket that you won because you paid so much for in order to receive the free flight. I think everyone gets the first class fare but we always feel like we are in coach just hoping for that moment to be moved up into first class. Sad to say that we don't seem to recognize that, and I would have to blame the amount of life distractions on any given day.
Since the holidays are nipping at my heels, I want to retreat, yet here I am still searching for that time when the color of the lights and the smell of the Christmas tree and all the packages under the tree took me to a place of happiness I seem to have lost. At what time did that all vanish? Where can we buy that feeling? Does EBAY have it? If it did I would be bidding on it daily just so I could win the chance to feel that special innocent feeling of incredible joy. My first really cognisant memory of the holiday's and what it had to offer happened to me at the age of six. I am sure that if my parents were alive today they would probably consider that the day they should have taken a flight to an unknown destination so they couldn't be found. My poor mother had no idea what she had done until it was too late. Santa had been good to me that year. It came in the form of a box that unveiled a most unusual device that I , for all my experienced six years, had never seen before. The interesting box that had a plug, a handle and each side of the top had two side locks. My kind Dad showed me the way to open this box in a slow and meticulous way, while I stood by grasping my crotch begging him to hurry up and open it. For oh yes, I just knew that there was something else inside. Finally the top opened and as he raised the top my eyes saw this decal of a white dog sitting in front of a gramophone speaker. Nothing inside but a plastic black round platter looking thing with a round pole object in the center. It was devastating! I can remember so well the disappointment that ran through me. I objected loudly that I didn't like this box and hearing Mother say "How do you know that you don't like it" and at that moment I watched my father drop my very first vinyl record on to the top pole and I watched in amazement as this record fell onto this platter and out came sounds that led me to a destiny that would change my life forever. On that day I discovered I had boarded my first solo flight to destinations that I never knew existed. This is the Christmas day that brought me more joy than Santa ever had inside his big red bag. I keep hoping for that holiday joy to return to me one day and while I am still on board and since this flight has not landed yet, I can't help feeling that this feeling of joy is closer than I have yet to realize.

No comments:

Post a Comment