Sunday, April 4, 2010


With every holiday there are traditions that are carried on eventhough there may not be any family present. Your mind space carries on with the familiar feelings. Memories spring up of the past and your faced with the realizations that things have moved on and your just a bit further from what was. There are the moments that really tug at your heart and are forever emblazoned within its chambers. Those emotions release the feelings that make you relive the specialness of it all.

The Easter bunny hopped decisively quiet that special day and he carved a trail that led to the sweetness of teenage discovery. Within my secret basket lay the treasures that would soon come to pass, or as I call it my passover to realization.
I must say that it all happened quite easily as biology did its part to distinguish me to be different from the rest and so with the finesse of mother nature I answered my calling. The odd part came as fate and fate had it all planned from the beginning and I just acquiesced and followed the plan as it was deigned for me. Fate played her hand and I followed suit.
There was a multitude of people everywhere at this pre-holiday party. It was the day before Easter and a celebration the day before made it seem less obligatory for the family reunions the next day, so we partied it up the day before. Still a minor in the eyes of the law, a private party celebration took away all the dangers of getting caught drinking the liquid spirits that would be easily accessible. I was still a novice in learning the libation laws but I had a wonderful teacher who guided me safely through the etiquette of social sipping. He was always on the lookout for any unnecessary spillage that could cause an embarrassment for either party involved. I seemed to pass this with flying colors as I was still intact after it was all over.
On this special evening, I would encounter a person that would become my first real adult intimate connection, but little did I know just how much we would know about each other and end up having in common. Now remember, I was very naive and extremely provocative when it came to matters of the intimate nature. In other words a lot of thought and no actual realities. I feared no boundaries and everything was innocent and there was never enough time to get to tomorrow.
The happy atmosphere swirled around every room and everyone was playing the social game. I acted as if I had done it before and bluffed my way through all the conversations. I am sure I was fooling no one and my guardian best friend just kept the correct amount of distance to be sure and within eyesight should something go amiss. I was excited to be at this party as it was my first foray into adult socializing and I wanted to make a great impression. There were terms for young men who were naive and still virgin to experience and I fit the bill to a T. I acted as if I had done this many times before and no one was a stranger to me that evening. I encountered people who made suggestive innuendos that flew completely over my head and people who took the time to tell me to be safe and careful. It was all vibrantly exciting and my enthusiasm showed. The cloak of fear was nowhere to be found. I soon stuck up a friendly conversation with a most attractive gentleman sitting at the home bar area. I wanted to get another drink and suddenly, just like that, my cocktail guardian appeared and suggested strongly that he make the drink for me. Warding off any liquid disasters, I made no contest to try and do it myself.
It was at this moment that I made an effort to talk with this man. I could sense that my head was light from the previous cocktail which made for the ease to converse with a stranger who was older than you. We started with the usual pleasantries and ventured into topics of which I had little experience in. This was both scary and titillating at the same time. The more he talked the more I was entranced with the sound of his voice and his calm mature demeanor. It reminded me a long lost memory that resonated with familiarity. He made the conversation bend for my comprehension and realized that my youth played into my unawareness of a few things he spoke about.
The conversation was lilting and hypnotic as I sat there quietly melting on the bar stool with secret thoughts of indecent proposals I wanted to make, yet had no clue on how to proceed.
At one point my guardian best friend arrived and noticed my focused stance and came into the conversation to see what was going on between us. At that point I came back to reality and just tried to act nonchalant but he was right on cue for what was happening between us. After a few minutes he left feeling that the situation was safe enough for me to proceed, and that I did. However there would be a huge turn in the road that lay ahead. I restarted my verbal engine and we merged once again into conversation. I could not stop feeling that I had spoken to this person before or had a chance meeting as the resonance of his voice felt all too familiar.
I could not recall anything that may have connected us, yet the whole scene had a sixth sense of awareness that made it all surreal. The alcohol took away all inhibitions and since I am a notorious for asking too many questions, our conversation wound down to likes and dislikes of all things. This lead to favorite this, or that and then the favorite music category came up. I was still in the swell of the moment and I felt a glow unlike anything before and my physicality pressed in closer as the evening wore on.....I could not relinquish the feeling of familiarity that hovered around us but I still had no clear channel to hone in on to clarify my concern. There could have been a lot going on around us but it all went unnoticed as we just kept on talking. While he was not very strong on details I could sense that he was being cautious, not just because of my age, but also because he knew that I had someone watching out for me and did not want to make any uncertain advances until the signals were clearer. Many times I kept repeating that we must have met at some time, yet I knew we had not, but somehow I knew all about him. It was as if this
secret person had magically appeared and you just moved forward with no fears attached. I wanted the evening to go on forever as it all felt so right.......until........the magic question was asked.......
What kind of music do you like and who is your favorite singer?????? His response was very pointed,candid and explicable. Then it came my turn to answer the same question. Fate zeroed in and then fired.... the bullet struck him abruptly and he took a gasp and then silence fell upon him. He made no move to speak right away. To this point in our conversation we still had not introduced ourselves with actual names so the first thing he asked,after the heavy silence,was my name. With no trepidation I replied and the look in his eye was all telling that something was wrong. I asked his name and with his reply nothing connected.....YET
Neither of us had given a last name yet but it was all to much for him to hold off asking so he inquired and I replied and then he replied with his last name. Still, for me, there was nothing to connect us but he had made the connection and I was too young to get it right away.
It would have appeared that I was not clear thinking as the slight intoxication of the drinks made a synapse of brain information but then the light began to shed it's glow on the situation. My favorite singer response sealed the connection.
I quickly blushed with anxiety and became suddenly shy with whom I had been speaking with all evening.
His voice penetrated me from the beginning and I could not shake the familiars but I had no clear identifying picture to connect it too...till now. Of course, I had known him. as a matter of fact we had known each other for almost ten years. Not by an actual meeting, we spoke daily on the phone. Sometime we spoke to each other twice a day. You must understand this.....he was the disc jockey from our local radio station that I had called one, two or three times a day to request a song from my favorite singer, of which he gratefully obliged and always sent a special dedication to me. The connection of my name and favorite singer suspended us in the moment and we melded together in a long overdue embrace,each of us saying thank you for being there all those years. He told me how he would look forward to my calls and would go into his time slot and keep my favorite records close by as he always expected my calls and knew when I was home from school. I recalled some of our conversations and how encouraging he was to me during those parental moments and long school days that seemed to never end. I was extremely infatuated and drawn to this man because I knew him and felt the safety from the years of talking to him. He was mature enough to know that I might be heading into something that I could not possibly know how to handle and he took the slow approach. He schooled me in the finer things life could offer and he opened my eyes to his profession of radio and reporting. I met some amazing celebrities and was accepted and welcomed by his friends. The personal times we spent together made an encouraging impact on me. Fate had brought us together for a reason and time proved to be our friend. I was just teenager and he was an unknowing mentor that offered hope for the future.
He would go on to be a stronger radio and television personality and I moved on toward my future. We kept in contact for a while but he was to be transferred to another area station and we lost touch.
The most miraculous thing would happen eight years to the date of our first physical meeting. I was visiting my best friend in Washington D.C. and we stopped off for a happy hour drink in Dupont Circle that afternoon. This bar had a jukebox and of course I would always play my favorites. At the exact moment my favorite singer began singing, the door opened and in he walked. I was stunned and walked over to say hello......he was surprised and happy to see me and, of course, once the music was recognized we connected yet once again as if time had not passed. There was an amazing reality to it all and to this day, I am so thankful for our special moments of life we spent together.

He has since passed on but his memory still is ever present for me and for many of us who still remember his voice and his DJ name.
How was I to know that he and I were on the same flight for ten years yet we had different seat assignments.
That is until we got bumped up together to First Class and had a drink together.

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