Thursday, February 18, 2010

FLIGHT SENSORY OVERLOAD

Within my intricate little world, there came a time when my clairvoyant capabilities seem to consume every moment that I was conscious. I would walk around somehow knowing exactly who, what, when and where things were going to happen. I knew that I was not to speak about it, as it would only make me seem more weird than I already was according the "normal" scale. At times I would not have recollections of passed minutes of present reality and sometimes under stress would completely have no awareness of time segments that took place while I was physically there yet not consciously there. It truly was discerning at times but would always allow me to be on my guard before the event would take place. I skirted many situations that would not have been in my best interest and had a keen insight to people and their deceit.
I would keep the friends away from impending disasters and would allow the others to fault and let them learn from their own mistakes. It would create an eerie feeling to be able to know a conversation ahead of time or know not to go somewhere that had been planned because intuition told you differently. It lies within all of us to have that extra sensory ability, you just have to be ready to listen to it.
Having this ability did not fare well with the parental group. While they had their own problems I added more with my stubborn attitude. My Mother knew the reasons why I didn't want to do something, yet she seethed angrily if I did not follow the group plan. She was not happy about leaving me alone at home but nine times out of ten she would later tell me that I was right about not going. She was parenting the best she could do with the child she had to work with. Most of the times when the feelings were strong, I would plead my case but it would go without any merit. Those were the times when she would come back with a whole new attitude, at least until the next event.
There were moments in school that played out like a movie that I had already seen. In the most poignant of times I was able to avoid situations that were unavoidable for others. I would dream at night of things yet to be and have dual images in my head when reality would strike and the event would be happening. Those with intuition know of what I am speaking of. You can alter the outcome if you are quick on the draw when it begins its descent into reality. Such was the case of my bittersweet old Florida neighbor who knew nothing of happiness and a lot about crankiness.

You first have to understand what is was like growing up in the "Land of the Living Dead". The city was over populated with retirees who came to the south to take in the ultimate daily sunshine. Being young meant that you were a minority and a nuisance. I made sure I was the latter and took judgement on them as they were the enemy. They ruled everything and the retirees took precedence over shopping, restaurants, post offices and beaches. I was a very defiant boy who did not cower to their expectations and I often let them know it. On rare occasions they would be sweet and gentle and you couldn't help but let them go first but the vast majority were hateful of children and young folks. I remember the many times I would erupt if I did not get my equality since I was there first. My poor Mother would melt as I went off on them. There were funny moments at the beach when you would see one of them rolling back and forth in the tide. I thought they were asleep and even with our loud laughing they just kept moving with the tide, in and out. The laughter never ended until we later would find out they had died. No one had wanted to disturb them, as they also thought they were sleeping. I would see many of them in this state before I was ten, so it was all moot from there on.
If we made to much noise outside we were scolded, so I made sure we made even more just to aggravate the situation.
Our neighbor was a disgruntled old war vet who knew nothing of children except that they should never be seen or heard. I made it my duty to do both, BE SEEN AND HEARD....LOUDLY. I suppose I would have been given the award for "most provocative" but it did seem that we both played our parts equally.
We would refer to him as "Hairy Ayres" as he strode around with a tank top undershirt and his upper torso was strewn with white furry body hair. He always wore dirty khaki pants with scarred wingtip shoes. From his lips there always dangled a half burned smelly cigar. On his front steps there would always be stubbies of used cigars in an old coffee can. He had a decrepit cocker spaniel dog that was blind in one eye and possessed the same unhappy qualities that he did. His wife was an older stunning beauty who seemed to be having an affair with someone as she was always out and hardly ever home. I would listen to his heated conversations with her on the "party line". That was my link to everything that no one was supposed to know.
At times he would reek of liquor and those were the times that he would be witty and not grumpy. I would later understand what loneliness he always felt, I had no idea that one day I would find that out.
One spring weekend my brother had left for the weekend with my Dad to go fishing at my grandparents and Mother had weekend overtime work to do, so I was left to my own devices, which was just fine with me. The moment Mother's car left the driveway, I went into overdrive and cranked up the stereo and began my weekend with the Beatles. It was all about the music on Saturday's, only day this felt different from the rest.
About 20 minutes into my songfest I began having extreme deja-vu and realized that I had not seen any sign of Old "Hairy" since the music started and found that to be quite odd, as "I Want To Hold Your Hand" always popped him out of his cage, with verbal accoutrement's. After a while my curiosity got the best of me so I went into the back yard hoping that I would be seen so he would come out to do his dose of verbiage.
Ah... but he did not come out although his car was parked in the driveway as it had been all morning.
I couldn't shake this odd feeling that kept creeping in on me and that is when the dual images began to appear in my head. Like methodical planning I took a walk over to his house, quietly, so I would not be noticed. As I did so, I could hear what sounded like moaning coming from the half opened front window, I merged in between the bush to get a closer view and ear shot and confirmed the sound once more.
It was as if someone inside me took control, as I had already experienced this and just went through the motions as planned.
I checked quickly to see if the front door was open, yet somehow knew it was not and I intuitively knew that one of the bedroom windows was open and I knew that I could fit through that space and with the aid of an upside down tin garbage can busted through the window screen and found old "HAIRY" lying in the kitchen, almost unconscious. I kept calling his name until he made a response and quickly called for help. We did not have 911 then, so it was the police who were called and they called the medics.
As I laid down with him on the floor I told him I called for help and stroked his head and held his hands. Next door I heard my "Beatles" music repeat it's playing of "I Want To Hold Your Hand". I then realized how apropo it was at that moment as I lay holding "HAIRY'S" hands. I was already aware of how this would all turn out and was not frightened and told him that he would be fine as I explained the dream and knew how the ending would be. He looked at me quizzically and being unable to speak, squeezed my hand as if to confirm my conclusion. I stayed with him until they took him away in the screaming ambulance to the hospital. I felt sad as he went alone to the hospital as his wife was nowhere to be found that day.

Through the group of nosey neighbors, I walked back home knowing that he would survive and kept things quiet for the rest of the day as I was emotionally drained and awaited for some news about his condition. When Mother returned home later that evening, I told her of what happened and how I had dreamed about it before and that I broke in through his window and found him laying helpless in his kitchen. She was concerned for him, yet asked quickly if I told anyone about my dream. I replied no and her face reflected her immense relief to my answer. She reminded me to keep it to myself, but I knew silently that old "HAIRY" knew the truth, and I knew it would remain hidden between us.
Old "HAIRY" did survive and came home a couple of weeks later, sadly his dog had passed away during his hospital stay and he came home to an empty house once again. I can't recall what happened to his wife but upon his return I had noticed a change between us that we never spoke about. His speech, at times, was very slurred from the stroke he had but the communication that passed between us did not need words, as his actions, as slow as they were, spoke mountains of words. I spent quite a good bit of time listening to his broken worded stories of his youth and realized that we had a lot in common. He told me that he felt that his own intuition saved him from being killed in World War II. He reminded me that he was an older soldier and felt his duty to fight the enemy. He was aware of the platoon that my Dad was Sergeant of. The explanations of his stories were gripping and brought to me the certainty to never be involved in any military responsibility. I never felt the need to be a nuisance to him anymore and the "joy to annoy" took an alternate route that afternoon.

I realized that behind the grumpy faces and sour dispositions of the older people, lied a bevy of information that glazed over the personality that was once held. All you had to do was ask about them and be genuinely interested. It would make their day to share their story with a young person. Their stories were better than a book you could read as they spoke of life and the river of tribulations that led them to their shoreline. FASCINATING...

Now, for me, that time is just around the corner, but I will not become grumpy and sour. I will try to be calm and jovial in my latter years from what I learned in my young years. As I still have many planes to catch, my intuition tells me to keep on schedule and watch for the exit rows when an emergency occurs. I am still watching, and waiting for tomorrow as the air has been cleared for landing.

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