It was a most restless night trying to capture the sandman and get the much needed rest that my body screamed for. My brain's hardrive decidedly took another active route that would not intersect with the sleep highway. With every toss and turn I could hear every little snap, crackle and pop of the house movement of its downtime. My dog sensed my restlessness and decided to join in all the night fun. The few minutes of drifted light sleep were filled with the constant questioning..."Is LOVE really in the air" or is it just another title to a pop song detailing the infatuation of a new romance.
Me, Myself and I always believed in infatuation but always skirted the issue of love as it seemed all to encompassing. I watched as all my friends moved in and out of unrequited scenarios and felt the pain caused to them by people who's intentions were not well suited to sustain the "LOVE" that infatuation color blinded.
The longer I live the clearer the message becomes about relationships. They are not for the weak of heart and the sensitive mind. If good and honest intention's are not a part of the whole puzzle then time will show you the way a duet will split into a solo performance. In anything that pertains to the importance in your life, the passion known as "LOVE" must exist in order to sustain the longevity of happiness.
I always prided myself on not being the man who got into the motion of commitment to "LOVE". When someone made their feelings known that was my ticket out the door toward the freedom I felt I badly needed. I was not going to be one of those people that I was aware of who suffered through the pain of a broken, uncontrolled coupling. Fear always won out on that issue of heartbreak as I had heard too many songs on its aftermath. Sitting on a bar stool begging someone to not play B17 on a jukebox or becoming the nightly sad Nome who stares at the blinking neon signs in a smokey bar had no appeal whatsoever. Nope..."LOVE" was not going to bite me in the ass and infect me with it's venom of joy. The side effects after were to great to take that risk.....or so....I thought.
I unknowingly submitted my resume the day I decided to break apart my repetitious life and ask the universe for huge changes. Those changes were needed in my search to find myself. I used the excuse time and again that there would be no one for me because I reached for an ideal that would be impossible to achieve. Unbeknownst to me and my repetitive bleating, it only encouraged its arrival. Taking its path right to my door, I opened it, invited it in and did not look back till I was in deep waters. The fight for control and having things go my way was all to reminiscent of being single. The behavior of many prior years had taken over and I was not letting go until I reached the point of no return. Silent in it's being and all to unconsciously disruptive, control will always lose out when humans and "LOVE" become united.
My newly acquired awareness of the "LOVE" word has definitely moved me to another plain on the life spectre. It definitely is not modeled after any one thing but is formed in different ways for every person who comes in contact with it. To feel it, is rare and addictive. Much like a drug but twice as habit forming. While I purport the phrase "better living through chemistry", the "LOVE" chemicals found in the human brain could never be duplicated in a laboratory otherwise the drug companies would really own the world as everyone would want the drug. They would then take the drug and feel the euphoria but never earn the lessons taught by years of communication and compromise. Tools that are profoundly needed to sustain "LOVE" of any kind for any person or in anything we do.
I can see the difference in everyone who feels some sort of happiness in a person or something that they truly love doing. Whether it is being together with someone or just devouring your life destiny, the joy in it always leads to happiness which is then subject to love.
If you awaken in the morning and love seeing the morning sunshine, that is "LOVE". If you love that morning brew of hot coffee, that is "LOVE". If you take that jog and you love the way it stimulates your physical being that is "LOVE". If you get that happy wagging tail and dog licks, that is overwhelming unconditional "LOVE".
These questions could go on and on. SO to end the blog with the answer to it's title,
YES love is in the air, it is in everything we love to do and feel. SO breathe it in deeply and with every waking hour make sure you release the air of "LOVE" back out for anyone to drift by and catch it's energy.
I'm still learning to feel it more everyday and have almost completely detached from the need to control. I am replacing my previous habit with a healthier addictive happiness drug.
My joy... is writing...it brings me a "LOVE" I never knew existed before....the power of the words is amazing.
Monday, December 20, 2010
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Jon:
ReplyDeleteA new year is here, always amuses me to see all over the world celebrate this man -made change. Never-the-less, I too join in this ritual as an opportunity to do better, and resolve to be a better person, -- I am not sure come the end of the year I have succeeded, for there is always moments that were less then glorious. But one thing that was worth while this past year was the joy of getting to know you through your written words, your passions & loves, your follies & joys, your sorrowful and sad stories. And yet there was always something completely uplifting, elegant and beautiful -- all in an attempt to reach out and share intimate moments of your thoughts in writing with others in this blog world where we have no way of recognizing others an unfamiliar familiar. - a strange combination of contradictions of sharing intimacies with 'perfect' strangers, who we may never meet but become bonded with on a whole other level of human connectedness.
A toast to the past, may it be remembered with gratitude, and a toast to the future, as yet unwritten, waiting for you to be led by your heart, make it a good one.
cheers,
joanny