Tuesday, January 10, 2012


I awakened to another bright clear morning and as I made my way into the kitchen I looked out the window and saw the early morning birds playing merrily in the orange tree. The gleam of the turquoise water glistened in the pool as I stared out of the glass while I filled the pot to make some tea. Transfixed and feeling myself losing presence I started to daydream and remember the time when all I wanted was to see blue sky, only I did not think about what would come by having the reality come to fruition. Suddenly I began to remember so many things that seem so many miles away and just a short time ago.

Back then I could hardly ever see the sky and yearned for its blue hue to surround everything in its reach. I would be angry at the rain that was always present and cold as silver. The winter chill that would bring the snow that fell on the trees like lint. With winter winds came the ice that looked like vinyl on the streets which made for treacherous travel. I hated counting the days till I could once again see the sky. Eagerly anticipating the leaves that spring would bring and magically transform the coat rack like branches that also yearned for the warm sun and blue sky. I remembered the parks and bridges,the mud on my shoes, the roses and lakes and a zoo. The city sounds and the traffic noise echoed softly in my reverie and I realized that it all had gotten lost as I searched for that day of blue sky.

The haze of that foggy daydream began to clear and softly I landed back into my reality. The day began its momentum and fleeting glimpses of the past moved past my windows all during the day. I made a promise to myself that I will now try to appreciate those days, or at least I will try.

Now as the last rays of light disappear over the pink mountains, I sit watching the last flickers of daylight slip from view. Swiftly another day has sped by without any notice of its end. The amount of thoughts that crept in and out of my mind during this day seemed to lay scattered around my visions of desires, hopes and dreams of this ending 24 hour period of my life. Actually there seems to be a lot of those mini novels laying around everywhere these days. Each and every last page of those novelettes end the same, with the same inconclusive endings and each requiring a sequel to complete it.

Due to the fact that I constantly hunt for change, I find so much amiss when I actually get what I ask for. There is that road that suddenly appears out of nowhere and it is full of curves, twists and turns and they all end up at the same crossroads of whether to turn left, or right, go backward or move forward. It has happened to me time and again so it should not come as a surprise when it reappears at different times. I hear the band and want to strike up the march of my different drum hoping to one day soon set my mark. My whole life has been to take on the next challenge and see what happens. That much needed calmness clamors for my attention and it is time that I give into it.

As I await the sign to guide me to the next phase of life's challenge, I will stare down my unknown tomorrow and will be assured that now I will always find my sky....blue, vast and never ending.

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