Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Inside my soul was always this hidden desire to reach the top where fame and fortune would coincide with all the pleasures that I desired at the time. I thought that all that I would want would be mine and nothing would step in the way of my ideals. As a teen you can see the bright lights beaming their way toward you and pulling you in with temptation and a hidden false sense of security. I would always search for that beam in the faint twilight of most every evening and as usual it would appear in my head and give me one more day that passed on my journey to "stardom".
I always believed that by dreaming that I would get down that road as swiftly as Dorothy's ruby slippers took her home, only mine were not made of rubies and I see now that converse tennis shoes and bass wee gin penny loafers didn't make the spark to send me flying anywhere. Just the same I still clicked my heels and waited for instructions on where to land.

When I did finally make it on a stage and sang for many people, my reality into the world of fame was quite a shock to my system. I realized early on that I cherished my solitude too much to be invaded by people and hounded by press. Yet still the entertainment bug kept biting me. I reached out for different venues that would put me in the spotlight and then I could walk away and have enough for the moment until it was time to be satiated with more applause wrapping around me for the music and show that I gave the audience. I encouraged any and all to join in my fun and what an experience and workout that turned out to be. Among the talented people who shared in my fun was one who stood out from all the rest.
SHE was a knockout, not only in the looks department but also with a voice that could melt steel. She had an interest in singing secretly hidden, so I made it my goal to pull out notes from her throat that would alter her view of natural raw talent. The problem with that awareness was her lack of confidence, and no matter how you hope to bring security to a living soul, it has to come from within.

On our first approach to singing together, I approached it quite candidly and gave her a song that we both loved and chanced it as a duet. The days of beginning vocal workouts were grueling and her pointed tongue and insecurities made it hell. It was within those early rehearsals that I brought to the forefront of her mind the actualities of a voice that had been hidden within and showed the possibilities that could come from taking chances.
We debuted at a private party and she surprised everyone. We looked around as all the many guests were stunned to hear the alluring sounds emanate from her mouth. I too was taken aback at how easily it all came off. Those weeks of rehearsals opened up a Pandora's box of vocal delights. We merged together on that evening which would take us both on a musical journey to understanding each other and learning the things that would put us on our defense of self preservation.

As a duo we were a strong force and our presence in any gathering stood us out from the crowd. Most times people would speak of the envy that they had due in part to the allegiance that we held for each other. Most all of our time was spent working on our future singing plans. When we were not recording our music we were divulging information to each other of personal interest's and the insecurities that we held for people in general. The latter made it sort of a struggle to keep our patience with people who seemed to annoy us just by being. This attitude was due in part by our insidious nature of feeling above the rest while the others never seemed to get us or fit in to our very closed circuitry of thought waves. It truly did not matter who may have been around us as we only were tuned in to one station that held one spot on the dial of Dynamic Duo Radio.
We were young and realized early on that we were bound by karmic ties that superseded the actual realities of the present day. In other words the ties that bind were not going to come loose anytime soon, at least not in this round of life experiences. Her singing was lilting but her direct candor was venomous yet alluring like honey, you just could not get enough. Pure honesty is a blessed attribute, but for some people it would feel like an merciless beating unprepared for. My attraction to her was a mirror image of myself which made it even more challenging when faced with each others personal feelings on a subject that did not blend easily. OUCH!

We started production on our first foray into local theatre by putting together a variety show, based on a theme that we both loved. It was overwhelming to be in charge of such a group of people who all seemed scattered in their focus. It took some pointed rehearsing but we came together and gave a super performance much to the delight of the audiences that paid to see it all. The "duo" was pointed out as the standout performances of the show, and in hindsight I can understand why. We were in tune more than the rest because we had put our time and energy into the show from the beginning which created a performance based on months of mind rehearsing it all. From that crazy fun show, it spun off many more performances and a constant swing of engagements both private and public. It was amazing for me to watch her become this personality that ignited as soon as the spot was aimed in her direction. The confidence that seemed so elusive appeared when illuminated, only to disappear as soon as the song or performance ended. The enigma of it all left me at times confused and dazed but it became a recognizable trait within her personality.

It was very apparent that we held between us a blend of previous life experiences that got in the way of the reality of "the now of then". There would be a bevy of roads that would have to be traveled which led us to different crossroads. I took a left when SHE took a right, and vice-versa. Whatever road was walked solitarily we would always book that return flight back home to each other to check in and await the next song to be sung. Experiences together and separately would make us realize that life really was a stage and we each got to play our part as the roles were given out. The many people who stood with us on our stage during certain scenes from our lives all seem to have faded into the background and yet the faint hue from the hidden stage lights still illuminate the memories of those times that we shared with them.
Some of our songs got ovations while others left us with lyrics in our heads that shaped the futures that laid ahead of us. Love songs made us cry and inspirational songs filled our hearts with the hope that we strive for everyday. When I think about it,really...... we are still appearing daily on life's theatre stage, and we are still waiting for that one song to be sung together again. The script still has some rewrites and the author needs to make some adjustments.....but all in all....that spotlight still is aimed at us and we will appear once again in the sequel that is yet to be named but is definitely in the works.
As a matter of fact, I am almost certain the flight arrangements are being made as I sit here and write this...

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